oceanwinder/pages/the-trap.html

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<--
.. title: The Trap
.. slug: the-trap
.. date: 2020-05-20
.. type: text
-->
<h3>Scene 1</h3>
<p>(A quaint village. Present day. The marketplace bustles and rustles. SMIFFBANY, our heroine, is buying apples.)</p>
<p>SMIFF: Ah, thank you for the apples, humble Appleman, but nothing can fill the hunger of loneliness. I fear I have dated every man in our village of four people, and now Ill never find my one true love.</p>
<p>(A horse whinnies. Riding in on a handsome steed is a handsomer stud. GROMBO, prince from a faraway land, enters with a rose.)</p>
<p>GROMBO: Did somebody say Grombo?</p>
<p>SMIFF: No! But, perhaps I could.</p>
<p>GROMBO: Fair lady, why do you eat that apple so sadly?</p>
<p>SMIFF: You wouldnt be interested in the troubles of a young, beautiful woman.</p>
<p>GROMBO: I would!</p>
<p>SMIFF: Im pregnant.</p>
<p>GROMBO: Have a good day.</p>
<p>(He leaves.)</p>
<hr/>
<h3>Scene 2: </h3>
<p>(SMIFF weeps a frenzy of weeps. But LO! From the sunset comes in a twink like none ever seen in this age. Tis Chimothée!)</p>
<p>CHIM: My lady, dont cry. He doesnt deserve you.</p>
<p>SMIFF: That much seems clear, handsome little boy.</p>
<p>CHIM: Im in my twenties.</p>
SMIFF: I said what I said.</p>
<p>(Chim goes to comfort but stubs the sharpest stub youve ever stubbed on a nasty stubbing
rock.)</p>
<p>CHIM: OW!</p>
<p>SMIFF: Not the Stubbing rock! Youve loosed the sacred rock from its really dangerous hold in the
middle of the street</p>
<p>(She helps him to the doctor.)</p>
<p>SMIFF: Ill check back with you later, go seek the medicine man.</p>
<p>(GROMBO, having overheard that hes not worthy, turns right around on priniciple, and comes back with a new different flower.)</p>
<p>GROMBO: Ah, Lady, I was just getting you a new flower, and youre talking to another man. I hope you dont mind that Ive wildly and irrationally jealous.</p>
<p>SMIFF: My name is Smiffbany.</p>
<p>GROMBO: Of course, Lady.</p>
<p>SMIFF: What kind of flower you got?</p>
<p>GROMBO: Um, what kinds do you like? </p>
<p>SMIFF: Volcanic irises, the rarest in the kingdom.</p>
<p>GROMBO: Um, yeah. This is one, but it looks different because its out of season. But here. I know you love them.</p>
<p>She is visibly impressed.</p>
<p>GROMBO: I was en route to feed my horse a stiff drink of water. Would you show this traveler to the well? </p>
<p>SMIFF: Of course, I know the way. Its upstage right.</p>
<p>(They head to the well.)</p>